How I’m consciously becoming a better introvert/socially anxious person


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If you haven’t read my post on chronic illness and social anxiety, read it here.

There are different reasons people develop social anxiety, for some of us it is our health, our chronic illness.

Living with sickle cell has made me prefer staying indoor (one reason I’m not even disturbed with this corona stay at home season). It is tough living with an illness that’s misunderstood by the society.

I grew up scared of social gatherings maybe because I was scared of being judged and stigmatized. Most of us have the same reason, we would rather stay quiet than speak up or stay indoors than go out because we do not want to be judged.

It made me become an introvert and anything that would bring the spotlight on me, I avoided it. I know you might be like and that is why you are reading this post.

Social anxiety can make you nervous when you want to meet someone especially someone new. I learnt over the years that people are your most prized possession. People are your ladder to success whether you like it or not.

While it is okay to be socially inactive or an introvert, it is important that we learn how to meet and deal with people because you will either learn or earn from them. We all can become a better introvert.

Life is not all about you, it is about others and how you can impact others.

No one can be successful alone, you need people around you. You need someone to tell your goals, your pain, your victory and even your failure. That is why you and I cannot do without each other.

Over the past few weeks, I have made relationship with others top priority (well, I mean before the covid 19 crisis) and each day, I am working gradually to meet this goal. 

Here are some ways I’m doing that.

1. Accepting my social awkwardness.

I’ve learnt that whenever you feel like changing anything, the first step is to acknowledge that thing. It is difficult to accept most especially when the problem is fall on the negative trend of life. Accept the problem and then you can find solution.

I am accepting that I suck when it comes to meeting new people, keeping conversations going, dancing at parties and so on.

2. Reading books

I believe so much in reading books especially self-help books. Although these books won’t help you take action, it is impossible for the writer to help you take action but the writer or the book can inspire you to take action.

You can read books on making friends, how to talk to strangers or how become more social or anything. Something to just help you.

I have two books on my reading list

Dale Carnegie’s how to influence people and How to talk to anyone; 92 little tricks for big success in relationships by Leil Lowndes

I recommend you read these books but like I said, they won’t help you take actions so continue reading for how I am taking actions.

3. Looking out for where to belong

Many a times we get that social awkwardness because we feel that we do not belong here, and no one is worth relating with. That is the normal as we cannot belong everywhere.

I have observed this happen to me a lot of times so I consciously pick gatherings I attend, groups I join and so on because the only time you can really connect with someone is when you and that person have something in common.

better introvert

4. Intentionally introducing myself to strangers

This is the most difficult action for me but I am pushing it (a day at a time). When you do this too, you will realize the people are actually nicer than they look.

I should also say that, it is not any stranger but strangers I feel like would be friend worthy after all your best friend was once a stranger.

5. Reminding myself that this is a life of journey not destination

I think we all need this reminder that becoming socially active is a life journey and not a destination so there is no need to put pressure in yourself. There is no need to get mad at yourself when you fail one day, just try again the next day and the next and the next.

This reminder will definitely help you stay calm while you smash your social goals whether that is whether it is getting to know people every day or going to gatherings daily.



The last point is actually more like a conclusion. Never forget that becoming a better introvert is a journey and you are allowed to suck, and you are allowed to procrastinate sometimes, and you are allowed to take it one day at a time.

Knowing how to become a better person socially is one of the greatest self-investments. Being an introvert does not stop us (Yes, us because I am one too) from meeting new people, making friends, helping each other.

How are you becoming better social active? Tell me in the comment section, so I can learn.

If you haven’t subscribed to my newsletter which I will be sending out soon on becoming a better socially active. Click here to subscribe and get a freebie too.  

Here’s a good news my book is now available. Get it here.

sickle cell

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