8 reasons you should ask for help and how to do it effectively


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Have you ever needed help but didn’t ask? Perhaps because you have been rejected before and you fear being rejected again.

If you have then you are not alone, I have too and I so much dread rejection, like I try to avoid rejection, I avoid situations that might lead to rejection. I don’t know if that’s a bad thing.

The good news however is that we can all learn to overcome this fear and become comfortable with asking.

What I know is that, it is really important to ask for help. It is very necessary because no one can do it alone. Forget all the self-made saying no one is actually self-made.

Ask and it shall be given.

In this post, I have put together eight reasons you and I should ask for help and some tips from psychologist Heidi Grant.

Eight reasons you should ask for help

1. It shows vulnerability.

If you are one of the people that think vulnerability is a bad thing or it is for the weak then you begin to have rethink.

Vulnerability is one of the most misunderstood concept. The society we live in today makes it difficult for us to be vulnerable.

Mark Mason, author of the subtle art of not giving a f*ck wrote in this post that vulnerability is consciously choosing to not hide your emotions or desires from others.

Consciously, which means that we have been wired by our environment to hide our feelings or emotions hence we have make conscious decisions to show it.

Being vulnerable does not only show that you are human, it shows that you are strong and care less about what others think.

To show vulnerability is a tough thing to do especially in our world where showing weakness is seen as weak. People want you to be always strong which is impossible. I mean, you are human and you have your weakness.

When you begin to ignore people’s opinion as you express your emotions, feelings and thoughts, then you are showing vulnerability.

2. You can never do it alone

Whether you want to hear this or not, you cannot do it alone, you cannot succeed alone, you cannot do it all by yourself.

Trust me, you will get frustrated and worn out quickly if you think that you can. When you understand that there is no one that can do it alone and everyone needs help at one point or another, then you will find it easier.

3. You won’t get far without it

If you go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.

African Proverb

Think of any success story you have heard, I am sure there is no one that took all the credits.

You can never go far without help, without someone else giving you something. Together, you go farther and maybe even faster.   

4. You make them feel good

I don’t know about you but whenever someone comes to me for help, I feel worthy and when I do what they asked, I feel proud of myself and at peace with myself.

Helping someone gives us joy and it is one of the inexpensive and effective ways to boost self esteem.

Always keep in mind that you are not only doing yourself a favor by asking, you are also making the person helping you feel good about themselves.

5. It strengthens relationship

This applies mostly when you ask someone familiar to you. Although in some cases it works with strangers as well.

When you ask for help, you stand a chance becoming a friend or becoming closer to the person. Psychologist and author Heidi Grant wrote in an article that asking helps to strengthen relationships.

6. You will feel a lot better

You are aware that needing help means that there is something that you cannot handle. Which means that it is possible for you to feel worried and disturbed as long as that thing stay unattended to.

When you ask, you stand a very high chance of feeling much better. Your mental health is safe and you are able to think about other things.

7. You will not be rejected

The most common reason we prefer to hold back and resist asking for help is that we fear rejection. At least I know I do and I am making efforts to stop that.

The fact is that you stand a high chance of not being rejected because people are willing since helping makes them feel good.

Having said that, it is also possible for you to be rejected, you should keep in mind that rejection is normal. You don’t need to worry about getting rejected, just try and see.

8 Asking for help will make people like you more

You can make others like you by asking for help from them. It makes others see you as someone willing to learn from them, as someone who does not know it all. Nobody wants to be friends with a know it all after all.

Ask for help heidi grant

I’m sure these eight reasons are enough to convince you that asking for help is worth it. Psychologist Heidi Grant shared some tips in her article and here are some of it.

1. Do not feel sorry for asking for help

When you start feeling sorry, you are doing yourself a great harm because you will feel weak and pitiful.

Asking for help is supposed to make you stronger and know more. It is very common for people to say use words like ‘sorry’ when asking for help.

For example, sorry can you help me do this or that?

That’s a typical help statement which is wrong. There is nothing to be sorry for, please is a better word to use.

2. Be explicit and direct when you ask for help

When you need help or want to ask yourself, you must be clear as to what you want. Know what you want the other person to do for you, if you do not then you stand a high chance of not getting any help.

Always know what you and state it clearly when you ask for help.

3. Don’t offer reward

Many of us think offering a reward will increase our chances of getting help, no it doesn’t. Offering reward is like telling the person that you are not too sure you will get what you are asking from them freely.

That you need to bribe them before they give you what you want.



The truth is as human we are wired to help others. That is our nature. When we give help, it increases our self-esteem and helps us connect with the person that asked for help.

This shows that asking for help will not only benefit the person asking but also the person giving. I hope this post will help you and convince you that asking for help is necessary and everyone needs to ask.

No one can do it alone, always ask for help whenever you need it.

Did this post help you? Let me know in the comment. I will love to read your thought. Please share to help someone.

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